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10 Jaw-dropping Absurdities Brought to You By the Right Wing

October 26, 2013 in Blogs

By Janet Allon, AlterNet

From lesbian cookies to nuking Iran, this ridiculousness will blow you away.

1.  Kevin Swanson is begging you not to buy those lesbian Girl Scout cookies

How, you might ask, can a cookie be lesbian? And which one is the most lesbian? Is it the famous chocolate covered Thin Mints, or those scrumptious Do-si-dos Peanut Butter Sandwiches?

Right-wing pastor Kevin Swanson is not buying sweets from his local Girl Scouts. And he doesn’t want you to, either. Because if you do, you are helping them to promote this oh-so-harmless-seeming, but secrety dastardly organization’s lesbian agenda and also its baby-killing agenda. Also, they’re commies.  

“I don’t want to support lesbianism, I don’t want to support Planned Parenthood and I don’t want to support abortion, and if that be the case I’m not buying Girl Scout cookies,” he neatly summed up on his radio show this week.

Where does he get these ideas about what is truly behind the Girl Scouts?  We don’t know. Perhaps they come from the little voices in his head, which are also telling him the Girl Scouts of the USA is “a wicked organization,” that doesn’t promote “godly womanhood.”

“The vision of the Girl Scouts of America is antithetical to a biblical vision for womanhood,” he said. “It’s antithetical to it.” Because Girl Scouts encourage girls to be independent, or dependent on other girls and women, which is very, very wicked indeed.

And nothing screams independent woman more than Do-si-do.

2. Men’s Righter, Paul Elam: It’s okay not to care about female rape victims

Men’s rights. What could be bad? Sounds so innocuous. Men should have rights. Everyone should have rights. Wait, who is taking away men’s rights? Why, feminists of course. And also rape victims. Whaaa…?

Men’s Rights Movement rockstar Paul Elam, famous for, among other statements, “while beautiful women may fear rape, fat, ugly ones might secretly covet it” shockingly defended his successor, John Hembling, for saying he didn’t “give a fuck about rape victims anymore,” in a video quoted by the Daily Beast. Meaning, of course, female rape victims, because he does give a fuck about male rape victims, as we …read more


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