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My Lesbian Mom Died Terrified of Going to Hell Because of Religion

November 11, 2014 in Blogs

By Vanessa Mártir, Huffington Post

For years I was told that my family was living in sin, that my two mothers were immoral and disgusting and going to hell, that no one's born gay.


I once punched a girl in the face for saying, “You're dirty like your lesbian moms,” all because a boy she liked was interested in me. I didn't think about it; I just swung. Then I dared her to say it again. She didn't. She knew better.

I was raised in a gay relationship in the '70s and '80s, long before Heather Has Two Mommies hit the mainstream in the '90s and just a few years after the American Psychiatric Association took homosexuality off the list of mental disorders in 1973.

For years I was told that my family was living in sin, that my two mothers were immoral and disgusting and going to hell, that no one's born gay.

When I went to boarding school at 13, I didn't tell anybody about my family. I convinced myself that I just didn't want to deal with it. What would people say? How would they treat me? I was carrying my own shame.

* * *

I was orphaned when my mother Millie died nine years ago. My biological mother went back to being a Jehovah's Witness and now says she regrets being with Millie for 20-some-odd years. “Les di un mal ejemplo,” she says. That's bullshit. Millie is the reason I'm sane.

See, Millie is the one who loved me — tender, unconditional, I-believe-in-you love. My biological mother hasn't spoken to me in months. She's done that so many times throughout my life — almost 39 years. That's how she punishes me. She denies me her love.

* * *

Millie always wore a black Kangol and a pair of worn jeans — so worn the outline of her wallet was visible on her left black pocket like someone had traced the square with chalk. She carried a ring with a thousand keys on the belt loop on her right hip, and she always had beads of sweat above her lip and on the bridge of her pointy Castillian …read more

Source: ALTERNET

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