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Why I Can’t Wait To Be a Fat Bride

November 5, 2014 in Blogs

By Lindy West, The Guardian

I grew up believing marriage was only for thin women. But what I needed to hear was that you can be fat and happy and in love.

A few weeks back I was sitting at a bar, holding hands with my fiance, when a woman recognized me from the Internet. She was a fan of my writing, so she came up to introduce herself, and we shambled through a few minutes of pleasant chit-chat. Sensing the conversation was running out of steam, she asked me one of the questions people always ask me in those awkward, floundering moments: “So, what’s it like to work from home? Aren’t you lonely?”

“Not really,” I said. I gestured to my fiance, a musician. “He works from home, too. It’s hard to feel alone when there’s a guy constantly playing the trumpet in your face.”

She laughed and turned to him. “So, you two are roommates?”


Yes, lady. We are platonic adult roommates who hold hands at bars. This is, clearly, the only logical explanation. Actually, since you asked, I recently sustained a pulsing gash to the palm and he’s just holding the wound closed until paramedics arrive. Also, every night before bed, a rattlesnake bites me on the mouth and he has to suck out the poison. It’s the weirdest thing. We should probably move.

I wasn’t surprised that this woman took so many wilfull leaps past “couple” and landed on “roommates” in her split-second sussing-out of our relationship – it happens all the time. But it was a disheartening reminder of an assumption that has circumscribed my life: couples ought to “match.” My partner and I do not. He is thin and I am fat. He is conventionally desirable and I am a “before” picture in an ad for weight-loss tapeworm eggs. It is considered highly unlikely – borderline inconceivable – that he would choose to be with me in a culture where men are urged to perpetually upgrade to the hottest woman within reach, not only for their own supposed gratification but also to impress and compete with other men. It is women’s job to be decorative (within …read more


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